Sarah Ferguson Wedding Hat Drama

Reports are coming in that Sarah Ferguson is apparently not being invited to the royal wedding on account of looking too much like a horse.

The revelation is from the latest kiss and tell book by a royal footman Ivor Biggun, where he explains that the flame haired home counties loony looks so much like a horse that the real horses think she’s a ginger pony and try to get off with her, and that simply isn’t going to work on the big day.

He confided that the relatives are worried she is actually turning into a horse and unfortunate similarities of a huge backside, questionable body odour and a fondness for doing massive jobbies in the middle of the road were all adding to the tricky situation.

Reports are unconfirmed that Sarah will spend the day watching from her stable, eating straw and weeing where she stands.