There is a one off fee of £199. This is payable at the beginning of the process on this website. Once this payment has been made, you will immediately be sent an online questionnaire. You are fully protected by the online purchasing guarantees from Paypal and the padlock in your browser denotes a secure website.

You can complete the answers in your own time, saving and continuing at your own pace. Once you’ve submitted those answers you will receive your speech 3 days later.

There is no editing or amendments available with this service. Through vast experience we’ve found that most people want to make their own finishing touches, and so to keep the costs down we’ve factored that into the service we offer.

We always work very hard to ensure that every client is thoroughly happy, however, if the speech fails to meet your expectations, then we’ll happily give you a full refund.

We are a very experienced collective of British freelance writers who have been writing professionally for many years, led by Adrian Simpson, a UK based broadcaster and writer.

Making a speech sound like somebody you don’t know might sound impossible, but thanks to lots of experience we know precisely how to do this. The way you answer your questions, the words you use all help us to build a picture of you. Where you live, your job, hobbies etc. all dictate your social and cultural references and therefore what words and phrases you would use. In other words, we know how to pick out all the pieces to make it sound like you.

We don’t use dodgy wedding gags, we don’t use any of the old cliched one liners. We look at all your answers and work out how to generate original comedy from those.

Not from us they won’t! This is a completely discreet service, so nobody wil find out. We won’t contact you after the event and we don’t use your email address for marketing purposes.