Good evening ladies and gentlemen, now before I begin I would like to introduce myself to all those that I haven’t yet had the opportunity to meet – my name is Vincent, I am John’s brother and it is my very great pleasure and privilege to be his best man for today’s celebrations.
Now it goes without saying that John’s a bright guy but he has chosen me as the best man to be the person in his life most likely to be able to talk in sentences and the one least likely to reveal any dark secrets. All I can say, speaking as a professional in the risk management business…John I think you’ve blown it.
John is only two years older than me but has always seemed much more mature than his years suggested and has developed an in depth knowledge of…just about everything. But he hasn’t always been so smart: there’s a difference between acquired knowledge and being reasonably intelligent and sometimes John has left himself fairly exposed at times when it comes to the latter.
Most guys at college have to think of a million dumb reasons to go and talk to a girl, but when one actually approaches you? Well, that only ever happens in films. And when that girl happens to be pretty hot looking and asks you to be her study partner, that’s too much even for a film script. But amazingly this did happen to my big brother, and his response? Ladies and gentlemen, he told that young woman he much preferred studying alone! Obviously now we find ourselves here today with his beautiful bride Sam, he made the right decision, but…John? Really?
It seems only fitting that a guy who went on to become an expert on brains, really couldn’t find his when it mattered. It did, however, turn up for other things such as exams and John flourished academically, and so we have the man on the verge of becoming a fully qualified neurosurgeon.
A lot of people must wonder what type of person becomes a neurosurgeon. They probably have an image in their mind of scholarly young boys spending every waking hour reading gigantic encyclopedias desperately devouring knowledge. Just for the record and not to alarm anyone out there but the reality is quite different. John devoured Star trek and Nickleodeon and the only thing he could be found poring over were comics. But the truth is, that even at that young age he had set his mind on becoming a doctor and when he sets his mind on something – like being a doctor or studying alone it usually happens.
However, things could have been a lot different because John is, was, and always will be a sports fanatic and not just that, but one with inspirational and managerial qualities – think of John Farrell, but without the hand gestures. Anyway there was this time when his 4th Grade Bowling team was one nil down in a best of 3, John grabbed the situation by the neck and got his boys in the locker room. One impromptu motivational speech later, and those boys came out so fired up they didn’t drop a game, won the match and the championship. He’d shown his leadership qualities and an appetite for success.
Sport has remained a life long passion for John and over the years he’s competed and watched as much as he could. Taking in as many Boston games as he can, managing to play a decent round of golf and hitting a tennis ball with conviction, are all things he still makes time for. But perhaps for me the greatest of all John’s sporting related activities was his role as a baseball announcer – I now know that John would always make sure that he was the one who announced my games. And I can tell you nothing made me swell with pride more than hearing my brother announce my name as I was about to go on.
But youthful sporting prowess had to make room for something much more unpredictable and infinitely harder to accomplish: dating. Here John’s approach wasn’t as sophisticated as you might imagine for somebody so cerebral. In fact it was brutally simple: go to Pat Obrien’s, make the most of the quarter beers and see where the night took us. In other words – get really drunk and hope for the best. This strategy was always a lot of fun but somehow I think we both knew deep down that finding a nice girl at Pat Obrien’s was a bit of a longshot. It was.
However, in the end John didn’t need the help of cheap beers and a downtown Irish bar, he saw Sam, the girl of his dreams, at work and so we find ourselves here today. Sam, can I just say you look absolutely amazing today, I think we can all see my brother is one lucky guy. Not only are you a beautiful, intelligent and capable young woman but you’ve got a great personality that makes everyone feel included and special. In fact as our younger brother **** concluded “Yeah, I’m surprised she likes you!” I mean…he’s got a point I guess…
Seriously John, you have been, and continue to be, an amazing brother to me. Whenever I’ve needed help, advice or just somebody to listen, you’re there without hesitation and without judgment. And I count myself incredibly lucky to have such a person in my life. You’d be the first person to check to see if I’d made the papers after a game and I clearly remember the time when, after my pitching had been disastrous, you got home before me with a Caspar the Ghost toy to cheer me up. And that’s exactly the type of person you’ve always been.
But you’re not just a great brother and a loyal and much loved member of our family, you’re also very successful and someone who we’re incredibly proud of. To achieve everything you’ve set out to, shows not only a fierce intelligence and determination but a will to succeed that marks you out as a special guy, which we all know you are.
We can all see just how happy you are together and also the amazing effect that Sam has had on you. You’re still the same old John…but just a bit more relaxed…and good with kids!
So all that remains for me to say is that I hope you have a great day today and a wonderful life together, because I couldn’t think of a couple who deserve it more. I would like to wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.
Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom!
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